did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
