I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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