Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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