Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
