she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
