was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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