my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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