just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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