Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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