i barfeds in our rink
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
