he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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