I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You ruined the universe
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
