the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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