What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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