i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize