you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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