So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
