Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
