you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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