i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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