My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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