Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
