either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
