why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dick very happy bro
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
