Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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