You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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