let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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