if you like me you must not know who I am
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
