dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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