Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
