Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
