just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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