I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
