Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
