As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
