you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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