I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
