How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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