I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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