i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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