How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
