Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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