Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
