i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
