Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she looked like the before picture.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
