I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
