I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
