We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
