He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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