Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the day after is always just damage control
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
