I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
