The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i believe in u and ur pee
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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