I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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