I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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