its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
