Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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