You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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