How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
