Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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