Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
