I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
