im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize