just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
