I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
PANTIES FOUND
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