plz talk dirty to me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
