Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
