I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
