i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
