I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
