how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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